Sunday, January 5, 2014

Heavy heart

As I sit here tonight my heart is heavy as if have a lot weighing on my mind.  It seems my roller coaster of a life is on the exciting yet downward spiral.  Life as a mother is wonderful! I worry I could be a better mom... More in tune to my baby's needs and how I can best help him grow and develop.  I fear I am doing him a disservice by not being the best mom ... Or the mom he needs. 
It seems Derek's employment will be one of those "challenges" of my life.  He was laid off of a really good job in May of last year.  It was a very difficult time for our family as we had a new baby and plans to travel to Georgia in a month.  We were able to make our trip, enjoy family and come back to hopefully finding a job.  In late October Derek was offered a contract job with the LDS Church but it was short lived and not renewed for the New Year.  Now it's back to applying for jobs and praying that our Father in Heaven will have our best interest at heart and lead us to a great opportunity that will help our family.  I know that Derek is working on finding a job and I pray that our prayers will be answered as quickly as possible.  
With the new year I have high hopes that our little family will have many successes.  Derek and I have decided to sit down and for the first time in 10 Years work on our budget together! I have always done things by myself and it has been a huge stress for me.  I am excited to begin a new year with a new budget and outlook on our finances.  
I'm not really one to make new year resolutions because I never seem to follow through so I am just going to stick to one principle... To become a better me.  I want to become a better wife, a better mom, a more financially secure ...or stable person, and to start to save money so Derek and I can hopefully work on buying our "upgrade home" ... In a couple of years!  Of course... A lot of this is riding on how the next months pan out.  So please keep us in your prayers that Derek will find a job soon and we will be able to get on the road to financial security.